Q: WTF is TOFO?

A: It stands for Tits Out For Ourselves. Occasionally we will proclaim a day or an event to be ‘TOFO’, and women will gather in clothing that might be considered ‘inappropriate’. TOFO events normally, but not necessarily, involve a great deal of drinking and swearing.

 

Q: So are you saying that in order to attend a TOFO event I have to bare my breasts?

A: No. What we’re about is women dressing to their own comfort level, and taking pride in their own bodies. We aim to encourage women to find and express the level of cleavage or leg or bare arm or whatever that they enjoy displaying, without worrying about social expectations. There’s no shaming of any woman based on the way she’s dressed, whether that’s all out or all in or somewhere in between. Hear that? No shaming.

 

Q: So why ‘tits out’?

A: Mostly because the instigators are heavily-breasted women sick of being told to cover their chests. Also because we like the sound of the name. But it’s not prescriptive. We’re not going to turn you away because of how you’re dressed. We will turn you away if you criticise the way other women are dressed, and if you call someone a slut you probably won’t be allowed to leave until we’re finished with you.

 

Q: But aren’t you just pandering to men? I mean, men like cleavage.

A: No, absolutely not. We’re not interested in the interest or disinterest of men. We’re about women dressing to feel good about themselves, and not worrying at all about how men might react. We’re not responsible for their thoughts or actions.

 

Q: Oh come on, really. Why else would you dress like that, if not to get men to stare at you?

A: What part of “for ourselves” are you struggling to grasp here? Like everything else in life, it’s not always about men. In fact, it’s not about attraction at all. Of either sex.

 

Q: So TOFO days are just for teh wimmins?

A: Not at all. We’re more than happy to have men come along. Slightly less happy over children (see: drinking and swearing, above). We do ask that they’re respectful, non-ogle-y and non-judgemental, but we ask that of everyone. And we’re pretty good at getting rid of people that are. Also, we tend to talk about sex and sexual politics a lot, so if you’re easily offended by that kind of thing, you might want to fuck off somewhere else.

 

Q: This doesn’t sound very feminist. Aren’t you encouraging the objectification of women?

No, we’re encouraging women to make free choices about what they wear, without feeling they’re responsible for men misbehaving or other women feeling bad about themselves. You can decide whether that’s feminist or not for yourself. We trust your judgement.

 

Q. Are you sure?

A: We really are. All of the women we know are adults, capable of making their own decisions. We think that should extend to what they wear. If you don’t, feel free not to attend a TOFO day. Though you’ll be missing out. They’re awesome.

 

Q: What about the effect of these blatant displays on impressionable young girls? Might they not feel pressured to dress in a sexualised manner?

A: Emma has a teenage daughter. Are you calling her a bad parent? Would you like to do that to her face?

 

Q: But gosh, I’m just so worried that it’s dangerous for women to dress like that…

A: No, Concern Troll, of course it fucking isn’t. Are you saying that women are responsible for being harassed or sexually assaulted because of the way they’ve chosen to dress? That they are “asking for it”? Women are most likely to be attacked in their homes, by someone they know. Their clothing is utterly irrelevant.